A Rant – EDM

People are too sensitive these days.  Everything needs to be said with absolute respect and without any sense of the truth.  In case you’re one of these p*ssies, let me be the first to tell you–the truth hurts. Remember when Becky broke up with you because you smelled like sh*t and your cunnilingus was piss poor. That probably hurt, but in end you learned how to wash your balls and flick a bean.  Remember when your grandfather told you “You don’t know sh*t” and smacked your head. Guess what. You didn’t know shit, and you wised up.  If you’re not a bitch you can take the pain and improve your life.  You can thank Becky and Grampy for your past f*ckups, and now you can thank Awyee. Because we’re going to tell you why every sensitive EDM bich can shut their trap and get back to reality. Time to man up, bich.

This past weekend your two idiot friends died at a New York EDM festival called E-Zoo.  These morons thought it would be a good idea to drop mad extra molly and dance all day with no water.  Smart guys Olivia Rotondo and Jeffery Russ thought they could out-do their bro’s and get more f*kked up–and they paid for it. They wanted the “ultimate experience”.

Ultimate Experience

Ult-tim-ate Ex-per-ience

noun

1. a particular instance of personally encountering or undergoing something so insanely amazing that the degree to which it was amazing cannot be properly reflected in recounting the event.

2. to process or fact of personally observing, encountering, or undergoing something insanely amazing that voids all comparison.

Unfortunately these dipshits thought the “ultimate experience” was real. They didn’t realize when their friends say “it was the best sh*t ever / nothing even comes close / best time eeevvaar” they heeping a load of sh*t into your face to make them seem cooler.  It’s not a dare to take 6 hits of ecstasy over his 5.  When Russ’s father puts out a statement that says , “Now there will be no grandchildren, no nieces, no nephews, no wedding” you have to feel for the guy. His shithead son did more than just kill himself–he ruined his father’s future.  These kids need to be scared straight. They need a fistfull of tough love. Unfortunately for Olivia and Jeff, the opportunity is gone. Sucks for them. While I’m enjoying a fantastically cooled beverage and writing this dumb, meaningless article, their bodies are rotting away six feet under.  Awyee 1, dead overdosing EDM losers – 0.

Then you have this spoiled utopian EDM guru c*nt Leslie whatever saying, per Gothamist, “”I don’t think EDM culture promotes drug use at all. Young people are experimental by nature because they have no sense of their own mortality.” First, adding the verbiage “at all” to any statement makes it absolute, and anything absolute makes you sound like a dumbass, (unless it’s in written form on Awyee.com). Second, you’re leaning a little far when you make the assumption young people are experimental because they have no sense of their own mortality. I think it would be better if you mentioned that young people like getting f*kkkkked up and dancing with half naked counterparts. Don’t be naive. Everyone at EDM concerts is looking to do drugs, see flashy lights and bang out.

I guess that’s it. What else is there? Don’t be an assh*le and forget your mortal. Have a healthy understanding of all things that can kill you, especially if you’re ingesting them, and go on with your life. No reason to live under a rock–just don’t do dumb sh*t.

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